Do you talk to your family and friends about money?
Do you have a financial professional to talk to about your money?
Don't talk about money" is one of the oldest and most engrained adages of social decorum — particularly, I would argue, for women (the somewhat anachronistic adjective "unladylike" comes to mind). By Team Repeller "Why Is It Still Taboo for Women to Admit They Want Money?"
Whether it's with family, friends, or partners, nearly one-third of women feel uncomfortable discussing money. By Roostify "Women & Wealth: How women talk about money."
For women, the importance of being polite is emphasized from a young age. Even if we would prefer to discuss money more openly, it's difficult to do so when we've been raised to believe these kinds of conversations are inappropriate or best kept private. By Roostify "Women & Wealth: How women talk about money."
Women have conquered some of the most challenging problems in women's history in this country; however, talking about money continues to be an obstacle.
How can you get better talking about money?
Women have a love and hate relationship with money. They value cash to spend and get what they want but despise talking about money. You can speak to your family and friends about the most intimate and awkward circumstances in your life, but you get anxious, shy, and close down when the subject of money comes up. Money is emotional to women; it means safety, opportunities, stability, status, and control. Women will offer their views on just about every topic, but when the subject of money comes up, women shut down.
Lazetta Rainey Braxton wrote, "Women must keep finding ways to avoid the '"money FOG'" in the article, she talks about fear, obligation, and guilt (FOG).
Women experience fear of becoming impoverished. It is called the "Bag Lady Syndrome." Women who lack financial planning, have poor spending habits or have insufficient savings experience fear of not having enough money for emergencies or their future.
Women tend to be the family and community caregivers, so they feel obligated to provide friends and family with financial support too often.
Women feel guilt in two ways, when they have to ask their spouse for money and when they are the primary breadwinners and feel they have to overcompensate for not spending time with family because of work.
Women did not grow up with people talking openly about money.
Women are discouraged by what they don't know about money.
Women believe talking about money is inappropriate.
Women don't talk about money to avoid comparisons from happening.
Every woman has experienced at least one of these situations. Money wasn't talked about in home growing up. Women don't talk about money because they lack good financial knowledge. Women believe talking about money is in poor taste, and they tend to compare their circumstances with other women.
In a partnership with Showtime, Repeller published "Why Is It Still Taboo for Women to Admit They Want Money?" They interviewed women from different generations, cities, and industries about their relationships with money. After years of earning and managing money on the job and at home, women continue to let their anxieties over how it would look prevent them from speaking openly and honestly about money. Women need to admit what we want and go for it when it comes to money.
In 2015, Fidelity Investments authorized a study of women and money; they posted their findings here.
Fidelity Investments study found
Women want to learn about financial planning and investing.
Women are uneasy speaking about their finances with family and friends.
Women are overwhelmed talking about their money and seeking assistance with their money.
Women are comfortable with day-to-day money management but need help with their retirement planning and savings.
What can you do to conquer your discomfort with talking about money?
Hire a financial professional
Find a community of women to ask money questions and concerns
Learn and understand essential money management skills
Begin talking about money with your family and friends
Be honest about your financial situation with yourself and others
All the above approaches can help you overcome your unease with talking about money and develop healthy relationships with money; however, the one thing you can do above all is start talking about money. It doesn't matter what it is; start having conversations about money. It could be something from the news or how to save on your grocery bill. The most important thing is acknowledging your money concerns and ease by talking to family and friends you trust.
If women refuse to overcome their unease with talking about money, they will miss out on opportunities to make money and build a financial future for themselves and their families.
There is absolutely nothing taboo with talking about money!
As a bookkeeper and founder of NLC Bookkeeping, I love talking about money. We teach women about money and help them build successful and healthy relationships with money. Reach out to us, and let's talk.
Contact us to begin building your community of women talking about money.
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